Install issues. Failed DVD install and USB install, even Upgrade failure

I have tried installing Seven in EVERY way possible right now with teh student download from Digital River.

I have used the USB Key and i get an 0x00 errror during boot up, asking me to either insert boot disk or repair windows...
I used the DVD and get the Driver Error, i have burned three copies of it at all differnt speeds, used differnt brands and types (dvd-r and dvd dual layers)
I use the new download from Digital river and get install.exe not a valid win32 applicaation..

I am at a loss. I have no clue what to do.

Seriously? No one has any ideas??

plenty of ideas on installation problems. Solutions are another matter. Installing the OS seems to be 99% of the problem for some of us. The promise land awaits us at some point I'm sure.

Perhaps a sacrifice of our first born might appease the god(s).

If you have more than one child, for the sake of all of us with installation problems you must do what is right and offer them. Dont be selfish.

You may have to give more information.

Such as your DVDs won't boot at all?
Do you have the expanded files and did you follow a tutorial to make a bootable flash drive?
New download from Digital River? Do you mean the .iso download or just another regular download? And how large is that file?

It appears you haven't even gotten to the install stage, so some addition info might help.

Yes i have followed this tutorial and others as far as the USB bootable Drive. I have yet to find a USB key (that i own) that will show up in the DiskList. I have a Lexar 8GB and a Cruzer 4GB. However other tutorials i have read have worked afaik.

I am using windows XP, and want to do a clean install to get 64bit
When i boot thought i get an errror in the initial setup screen (prior to actual setup, where you would usually pick a O/S if you were dual booting or repairing windows..)
USB Error Boot
0xc0000000f Boot Selection failed because required device is inaccessible

CD\DVD .iso from Digital River, also used whatever the link from Lifehacker posted
W7 setupscreen starts, and get driver error for CD\DVD, asks me to insert driver disk. I insert it and it just says no drivers found.

The Digital River download fails to extract at the very end, saying they are unable to run from that location. ( C: ) The regular download is 2+GB

Computer-
EVGA-750SLi Motherboard
Q6600
4GB OCZ ram
8800GTS PNY XLR8
160GB Maxtor
1TB Green WD